You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize