Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
