Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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