I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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