At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
