I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
