Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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