Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
