i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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