it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
