is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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