Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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