There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
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I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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