Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
no, he came in my armpit
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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