I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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