My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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