What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
