It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
