i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
