I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
