so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
