Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
