What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
