My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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