Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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