just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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