we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
