apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
