Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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