I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
