There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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