So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
