I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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