I wish you could order shots online.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
