I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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