Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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