I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
