ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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