did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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