i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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