Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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