Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
