Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So vagazzling was a success
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
