You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
