my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
