dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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