idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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