Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
