none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Who died my cat blue again?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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