Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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