Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
