so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize