I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
