Umm I'm too high to move.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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