please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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