Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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