I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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