Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
