and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
