I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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