Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
