When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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