you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
