Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
