dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
