is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
