She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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