I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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