If that was your dad, he is hot
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
