Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
