Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
