I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
